Today I regained my open drivers licence! I will be endeavouring to make sure I never ever go back to my provisional licence again.
I cannot express enough how much I regret the night two days before BabyCakes called me...
It's been a big weekend.
I'm sorry if we offended anyone with our various departures on Sunday, no offence was meant, BabyCakes and I just needed some time to work through all that's been happening.
My brother is back from the USA (not by choice), and is trying to sort things out to get his wife and child here, but it was good to see him.
We had a lovely day celebrating a friend's 32nd birthday (younger than me by a month, and lets me know it!). We had a lovely relaxed time at Sirromet winery, eating, wine tasting and listening to jazz. Happy Birthday Mrs C!
A beautiful naming day and first birthday for the fantastic Mr Grommit, who performed beautifully on cue, and had fun playing with helium balloons and empty plastic soft drink bottles when he could escape the clutches of various clucky women, and some men too! Thank you Grommit and family for involving us in this special day.
BabyCakes' mum was discharged from hospital later in the day, but all round a stressful experience, especially the emotional impact of everything.
Tonight we're not answering the phones unless we know we have to, and getting in some serious snuggles.
The title is a saying my Dad is very fond of, and I think of it as I wait to hear more news of his health. Dad had a heart attack and subsequent bypass surgery just after his 50th birthday.
Today he had chest pains and went to hospital.... but he's 1000kms away in Sydney, on business.
We don't know much at all, not even whether it is a heart attack - they have to wait on tests. We don't know if he can come home, we don't know if he'll need more surgery.
Dad often said since his surgery that he felt better than new.
This is a bit scary!
I'm contemplating making (at the very least) our engagement cake.... I plan it to be a test run for potentially making a wedding cake.
I've been looking at wedding cakes, and they are beautiful but expensive. Most of it has to come down to the time it takes to make them.
When I was in high school I decorated a Christmas cake and it looked fantastic. I figure I've actually learned some patience since then, so I have a hope of making a cake that looks pretty good.
I think where I started from was contemplating the cupcake tower and figuring that it'd have to be cheaper to do it myself.... making and icing 100 cupcakes has got to cost some dollars, whereas if one keeps it simple and does it oneself, it has to be a chance to save some dosh! The problems with cupcakes is the freshness factor of a spongey type cake - mudcakes (BabyCakes doesn't like fruit cakes) are a bit more forgiving as far as making them ahead of time.
I wouldn't contemplate it at all if I thought I would do a half arsed job....
If the engagement cake does not work out I will probably be talking to The Cheesecake Shop to see how they can help me.... If I can control the decoration, then we should be able to get a simply elegant cake from there...
I figure I can buy and make a lot of cake for $300 - and forgive a simpler design if it is a lot less!
I've also been thinking a lot on bouquets, and flowers in general - I'm really glad we set our desired wedding date more than a year out - I can have a look at what happens this May!
I made some calls today I'd put off for a while. It was nice to hide under a rock for a while and pretend I didn't have to deal with these issues.
There are definite changes afoot, I can't see the status-quo staying as it has been.
I don't know what I want from the next few weeks, but I think I'll be crying a bit in the mean time.
I'm glad I have BabyCakes to hug and kiss me each night.
Families are scary.
Or maybe I'm still doing too much thinking.
Some things I really do not understand about myself. I had a very busy weekend. I thought it was a good weekend, productive. This week has been very quiet and left me a lot of time to think.
Over think. Now all I can see is what I said wrong, when I should have shut up and thinking of all the ways the people around me don't like me (in my head).
I just don't get it.
and not just for the obvious reason. I knew a while ago that I wanted to spend my life with BabyCakes, have a family and grow old together.
What I didn't know was how much the act of organising a wedding and getting married was going to change me as a person. I've been thinking about so very much in the past few weeks, lots of it life changing.
I've had advice from all over the place that ranges from "Get eloped" to "Don't be afraid of picking what you actually want rather than what you think you can afford" and everything in-between. Mostly it has been at the elopement end of the scale - and usually from people who are married. There are of course two ways to read where this advice comes from.... those that have long had their weddings and have forgotten what it meant to them to have a wedding, or the voice of experience, those that have had the wedding and regretted spending that much money.
I never though I would spend a lot of money on a wedding, especially now that I have a mortgage. I did a "worst case scenario" budget last night, managing to find a way to keep the spending under $10,000. That doesn't include any honeymoon, photographer, car hire, favours or extended family at the wedding.
My Dad is one of six children, my Mum is one of four, my Step-Mum is one of six, I have four brothers, a stepbrother, a stepsister and a half sister.... nothing about my family is small. BabyCakes is one of four, his Mum is one of about eight (or more - lots of step brothers and sisters there), and his Dad is one of three. I have three grandparents still alive, BabyCakes doesn't.
Even without friends (and I think we're allowed friends), we have a lot of people to invite. It is confusing.
I grew up being taught how important family is. Not in a didactic way, but very very subtly, until it snuck up on me and it took someone else to point out how close we were for me to realise we were (thank you Wah!).
We moved a lot when we were kids, all across the country, and very regularly. Our family was our biggest constant growing up, sometimes that felt good, mostly as kids, that was bad......why couldn't that brother really get lost in the move? Now we (for the moment), are all over the country and even on the other side of the planet from each other, we've gained members since those bonding times, through marriage and relationships, but on the whole, we even socialise together.
I grew up to even like my family!
I'm joining another family, BabyCakes is joining mine yes, but I'm changing my name in commitment to his, to be a family ourselves.
I see that it is a big deal.
I want it to be a big deal.
Yes, it is money that doesn't seem very productive...
but it is important.
I don't plan on getting married again. I plan to get old and grey with BabyCakes. I plan to fight for our marriage. I plan to work it out, even when it hurts, and I plan to make my family with him the basis, the foundation of the rest of my life.
I want my friends and family to be there to witness this huge step in my life.
I want a kick arse party, the likes of which I'll never host again, and strange but true, I think I want that more than I want a new kitchen.
I don't think my tastes are so extravagant as to send us into debt for the start of our new life (well, not much more than we already are!).
Last year I wrote BabyCakes a poem for Valentines Day, the first time I'd ever sat down, brainstormed and wrote a poem. This year I felt bad that I had not done such a thing. I don't feel so bad now that I've cried through writing a post and found peace, but BabyCakes does that for me. I find peace with him often, and laughter, sometimes tears, but mostly laughter, and peace.
I'm glad I found BabyCakes, and I'm glad we're getting married.
BabyCakes and I went to the Wedding Ideas Centre at Southbank yesterday and it was quite useful. It is basically a big room with displays from different wedding suppliers with number on them. You walk through and circle numbers on a card of the displays that interest you, and they give you brochures/contact information of all the stuff you liked the look of.
One that might be getting my business is a Wedding Broker... you tell them what you want, and they do the work - and get kick backs from the suppliers, I assume. If it means they find what we want for the right price, I'd be happy to work with that.
The budget is scary though. We have to do some very hard thinking on how many people and what style of wedding reception we want. I don't think we can afford the grand plans we had at the start. Realistically, I think our potential guests would be horrified at prices we've seen and the budget form I just guestimated. If fact, I'm quite horrified. I didn't want to get into debt over this party, but I'm not sure that I have much choice if we persist with what we actually want.
Today I did manage to find a venue which looks like it might suit our needs. I hope that in the next few days/weeks I can pin this down and we can move on and start saving!
Maybe I won't need the broker after all.
I also went to visit friends today, and have a girlie day discussing all things wedding... it was fun looking through magazines and picking out styles of dresses, I think my MOH (Maid/matron of Honour) understands what it is I'm aiming for. Now I either have to find a seamstress, or find one ready made... and once again, for the right money!
I'm feeling a little more in touch with the budget for the moment, but it's still a big outlay of cash.
I guess I'll have to see how it all pans out.
The good news is that you don't have to read about my home improvement plans as much any more!
The bad news is, I dare say that you will learn all about the ins and outs of preparing for a modern wedding in the coming months!
Having said that... Ikea have another $10,000 voucher give away - I'm entering, because if I win, that means there will be more money to spend on the wedding AND I still get a kitchen!
I've already tried on dresses... it's not as big a "Muriel" moment as it might seem - I only went to look and try and get an idea of styles, but I guess at midday midweek, there are not a lot of customers, so the lady encouraged me to try some on. It was great fun! You get such great personalised service, they help do the dresses up, they lent you sparkles and veils and even a bustier to get the right look. I stood there in my undies while the lady went off and kept getting me more dresses to try on! When I looked at the price of the dresses, it was easier to see how they can be so helpful! ;)
I also learned that either I'm ahead of the fashions (only time will tell) or I'm completely unfashionable (which is quite likely). They had NOTHING in the length of dress I wanted, and all the dresses I tried on had trains of varying lengths. They were fun to play dress ups in, but not what I want. We did work out why I had suspected all along, that a corset style bodice with a simple (but bouffant-ish) skirt flatters my shape. I'm contemplating a custom made corset - one doesn't get that opportunity to splash out that way very often! I did have a look through the Vollers online catalogue the other day - which was an interesting task till I worked out there is a glitch with Firefox that means you have to click on buttons about 1.5 cms under where they appear!), and I also looked at Gallery Serpentine's corsets. Unfortunately Gallery Serpentine don't seem to have any patterns in the style I really like, with the shaped cup (see style v1106 in the Vollers catalogue) .
I might contact them today and see what my options are. Given they are at least in the same country as I, it would make things a lot easier to be able to get fitted and ask for personal details rather than just ordering and hoping for the best! I don't mind the shape of the Femme Fatale Strapless, but prefer the front fastening busk of the Edwardian.
I have a while to make up my mind as to what I want ;)
Wedding planning is scary!
There are so many things to spend money on, and so many people willing to help you spend that money!
We picked a figure out of the air for how much money we want to spend on a wedding. Then we looked at what things cost... then we realised we probably need to spend more!
If one is serving any kind of food, or supplying any kind of alcohol, then costs are high. Add in that BabyCakes and I both come from large-ish families, and we have a "small" wedding of about 100 people....
We are in the process of getting information from where we really want to have our reception, and if the prices fit with our budget, then I think we have the two really big decisions set... Venues for the wedding and reception... but if one doesn't pan out, then we will probably reevaluate both decisions...
What we have decided on though, is an engagement party. We drove past the Booroodabin Bowls Club on Saturday morning, which is where BabyCakes and I met, and thought it would be a fun place to have our engagement party. We've decided to have the party in late May, which will be about a year from the wedding (we plan that for sometime in May 2008 - note it in your diaries!). We're going to hire some rinks so we can play some barefoot bowls, and have a fun relaxed spot for some drinks and nibbles. It's going to be a late afternoon/early evening thing so it will be a child friendly event. I'm looking forward to it!
The best part is that I don't have to do dishes afterwards!!!
Stay tuned for invites in the mail a bit closer to the time (I suppose I should confirm our booking before telling people to turn up!).
There are certainly some fun elements to planning a wedding, and I choose to only think about those ones at W-15months!
...in the most disturbing sense of the word....
My brother sent the link to me. It's disturbing and interesting at the same time. I wonder would could bring themselves to eat it.
I was sent a link, which was quite curious..... I've seen it before, but now I have a blog, so I can bore you all with it ;)
I put in my date and got my Birth tree as:
Elm Tree, the noble-mindedness Pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, tends to a know-all-attitude and making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humour, practical.
Which is a pretty good descriptor of me.
BabyCakes got:
Ash Tree, the Ambition Uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with its fate, can be egoistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over heart, but takes partnership very serious.
Which I'm sure he'll agree with (especially the uncommonly attractive bit).
Interestingly, I share a birthday (not date) with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr; and BabyCakes shares a birthday (not date) with John F. Kennedy, Jr. - weird!
Having recently discovered that more people than I realised are reading my blog, I have adjusted my blog now so that anyone can leave comments if they wish, but non-members' posts will need approval before they will be published (to try and reduce spam).
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