Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I was walking along, minding my own business when....

....I suddenly realised I'm going to have to come up with, and start practicing a new signature! I think BabyCakes would be upset if I didn't take his name, despite the fact that I quite like mine, it's served me well for 30+ years!

I think I'll use both names at different times, I certainly want to be Mrs BabyCakes, but might keep my maiden name for Stage Management stuff... I don't know. Maybe it is too much maintenance to keep two names.

The other scary thing about this revelation should be clear to anyone who has seen my signature - it gets comments from the checkout operators at Coles! It's very hard to forge given that if I spend too much time thinking about it, even my own attempts look dodgy! It is very loopy, scrawly, and mostly rushed...

I guess it will work itself out in time.

The cat is still trying very hard to make me live up to my moniker but trying to send me crazier.... I had a guy from across the road come and tell me on Saturday, that if he'd caught the cat on Friday night, we wouldn't have had one... He didn't like cleaning his garage of the spray SHE had stunk it up with at 9:30 at night. That's right, my female de-sexed cat sprayed... I'd be upset too if a neighbours cat did that to me!

I tried to keep her in again, and last night she bolted through an open window - the heat was just too oppressive not to have it open. I don't know what to do, she is fast running off with my sanity and calm, and that's just wrong.

The um, colourful lady next door also weighed into the the cat issue turning up on my door step to discuss it on Saturday morning when BabyCakes was out at work... She saw how upset the issue was making me and turned up later in the day with potted herbs and plants she had bought from a clearance sale, which was amazingly sweet of her. Maybe I should feel guilty for the uncharitable thoughts I have about her, all too regularly? Or maybe she's trying to build up brownie points to blackmail is with later.....


Girl Clumsy said...

Hey CCL,

Why on earth would Steve not like it if you kept your own name? Surely he loves you and that means accepting it if you did want to keep your trusty surname.

I do understand the problems that keeping separate surnames can sometimes involve, but I personally can't imagine ever having another name. It is just so intrinsic to who I am. However I have talked to other women who like their surname but are happy to relinquish it on marriage. I'm trying to get better at accepting this, being a proponent of the sisterhood and all that. ;)

Personally I get annoyed about this issue because it is so one-sided: men never have to change their name, never have to turn from a Miss to a Mrs (there is no such male equivalent). Men get born with one name and die, but because of traditions associated with ancient rites of women becoming men's property, we have to change, and go through the entirely modern pain-in-the-arse process of changing all our credit cards, bills, work details etc.

Anyway, the world has had enough of me ranting. :) Nat.

P.S. I do also appreciate the irony of being so resistant to changing my birth surname, when of course, it's my father's name, not my mother's. But then my mother's maiden name is Devoy, but that was her father's name. My grand-mother's name was Gerraty, but then that was her father's name. I guess my point is I have to start somewhere. ;)

Crazy Cat Lady said...

Hiya Ms Clumsy,

I've been thinking about your comment since I saw it last night. It has become really important for me to really unite with BabyCakes as a family unit. We could make up a name, we could use his name, or my name, and he has a smaller family than I do. I will happily take his name not because he "owns" me (not that you said that), but because I plan to share everything with him. Hyphenated names don't work for me (what happens when two people with hyphenated names meet, do their kids have four surnames?).

It feels right at this point in my life to be a Mrs BabyCakes, and I'm happy to be Mrs BabyCakes, because I want to be identified with him as I am making a family with him, even if it is a family of two.

I'm very very proud of my name, it has been a big part of my identity, but it is not my only reference point as an identity.

If I felt more strongly about the need to retain my name, I would keep it, but I have four brothers and a whole heap of cousins to keep the name alive. I also have a strong sense of family being beyond name. I have some jewelry that comes from my Dad's side of the family, passed via the women. I have some because my Aunt (the only woman in her generation) doesn't have any daughters to share it with. I really like this because of the extra work it takes to keep track of these pieces, it's not just a case of tracking down the same surname and off you go, there is a history of names, and all of them different, but all of them related to me. I'm proud to have something that generations of women have seen fit to pass on to the one below, which seems like a bit of a puzzle to follow.

In the end, I'm a romantic. I'm a modern woman, but a romantic too. I'd often wondered if I could change my name, and I guess I found a reason good enough to warrant it. I want to share my life, my everything with BabyCakes, and I want us to have a clear identity together. Intellectually I completely understand what you are saying; emotionally, I want to be a part of him.