Hug a Little Tighter

Hug your family tighter.  Time is fleeting and you never know when things could change.  Love one another. 

Laugh together.

Remember to enjoy the small things, they can pass all too quickly.

I am a lucky woman.  I have two beautiful girls who make me smile and a wonderful husband.  Life is good.  The girls are growing strong (and fast).  Miss Barry is four months old and exploring more and more of the world. Miss Squid will be three in little more than a month. Time marches on and life is good.

Christmas is next week and I'm looking forward to enjoying it with our family, especially as Miss Squid is starting to comprehend a little more about it and anticipate it.  Last year she only just started learning about enjoying the idea of presents.  I am looking forward to seeing her realise that there is a group of presents for her.

Mostly, I will appreciate my good fortune in having a happy and healthy family.  I have heard too many stories of loss of a loved one, even children.  Today, I will try to live life for today and take as much enjoyment as I can from each moment.

I Bet You Weren't Expecting This...

Another post... in recent proximity to the last two!

It is amazing what some sleep can do for one's energy levels.  Miss Barry is being an absolute gem and allowing me to get some decent uninterrupted sleep blocks and it is doing wonders for my enjoyment of life.  (Writing this down, however, could be the kiss off death to this good run of course!)

I'm feeling happy, relaxed, energetic and inspired.

I've even been able to focus on myself a little bit and have been exercising, eating better and setting goals. These things have had flow on effects to make other parts of life easier to deal with too.

Life this week has been quite enjoyable. 

Now, on to some planning for Christmas...

Good Morning World

I must be getting more sleep than I was, because today I woke at 3:30 and could not get back to sleep.

After laying in bed some time with my mind ticking away furiously I decided I would be better off with some quiet time before routine imposes itself upon me.

Life has been good. It has certainly not dull, but I feel more centred and able to cope with life at the moment than I have in a long long time.

Days tend to melt into each other with little pockets of change but there is an underlying level of contentment that is very satisfying.

BabyCakes is working hard, and having a frustrating time with a big project, but hopefully one day soon the job will end and we can move on from it and not have to deal with all the drama that seems to emanate from the project.

Miss Squid is growing and evolving in front of our eyes in the most wonderful ways. Her vocabulary is growing and she surprises us almost daily with new words. In the last week we have had some social events with her cousins and second cousins, and have really noticed how tall she is getting. She needs to work on her sharing skills a little more, but I think that is all a part of growing up.

I think all three of us have found a bit of a pattern in life and are glad to maintain the routines, which for my money, are much better than the manic mayhem that tends to develop without them. Some days I do wonder if I'm getting a little boring but I do realise that this is not my life forever, just for now, until something else comes along to move the centre of balance.

I hope I find more time and energy to write again soon.

Busy Busy Busy!

It has been too long since my last post, I dare say that there will be no-one left who checks my blog!

On the off chance there are people who still check, I will try to post more regularly!

Also, in an effort to reclaim my identity apart from mother, I have created a blog just for Miss Squid's stories. This is so I have a record independent of Crazy Cat Lady that one day Miss Squid might even take over herself.

Life is good.

I'm starting to re-find myself, having finished up breastfeeding at about 10 months, and losing the last of the baby hormones at that time. I do feel different since losing the hormones. I have lost some of the lingering drive to put aside "the plan" and have another baby sooner rather than later. The thought still lingers, but it is easier to rationalise.

The household is starting to get more sleep and more of a routine, which is WONDERFUL! We're starting to have more energy to take control of our lives and catch up on stuff around the house (even aside from sleep).

Recently we've tidied the spare/computer room and managed to fit a double bed in there to give us more flexibility when we have friends and family visiting. Babycakes has also done a large scale (and much needed) clean up under the house and it looks fantastic.

I've also started on another theatre project as Assistant Director for Catch 22 at the Brisbane Arts Theatre. We're 3 weeks into rehearsal and it is shaping up well. Most excitingly the cast seem very keen and talented. I'm looking forward to seeing how it develops over the next few weeks. I expect we'll have quite an entertaining show come show time!

I will try to write again soon, and now that I'm starting to have more energy, I realistically expect I can do it!

Until then!

Busy Doing Nothing....

Life is busy. I'm not feeling particularly constructive at the moment, but I'm busy.

Squiddley is 2 months old now! I'm glad to say that we are still breastfeeding after some stressful times early on, and still using cloth nappies - initially with disposables as a back up, but now have been disposable-less for over a week, and surviving just fine.

My happy hormones have deserted me, which is a shame to say the least. They really did help in coping with the broken sleep and constant demand of another person utterly dependent on you. Don't get me wrong, I haven't fallen off into an abyss of PND, it just means I have to work a bit harder at not being upset at being woken up 2 hours after I'd fallen asleep, or that just when I think it is safe to make a sandwich, have a shower or hang out a load of laundry, not swear too much when a plaintive cry is heard from the bassinette. I definitely have to work a lot harder to be nice to people complaining of being tired when they've had 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep!

Squiddley is growing well and gracing us daily with smiles which are the perfect tonic to the tiredness. She is more and more alert and curious about the world around her. Her movements are getting a bit more deliberate and a little less jerky (she regularly gets fingers/hand to mouth to suck on). She loves bath time and being in the thick of the action. She rarely cries and when she does, we can usually work out what is wrong in a fairly short space of time.

We've moved through the milestones of the six week check ups and the two month immunisations with reasonable ease and are starting to get more social in mixing with others. Last week we had no less than three social outings with different mothers and children, and this week is shaping up similarly. Add in the requisite grandparent visits (two sets local enough to warrant frequent visits) and she is an absolute social butterfly.

Squiddley has even had her first plane flight to canberra for her Uncle and Aunt's wedding (congratulations again to them!). She of course took it all in her stride, spending the entire first flight like this:

I met some lovely people whilst at the wedding festivities and truly regret not saying goodbye whilst in my sleep deprived haze. (Squiddly was in the midst of a growth spurt and decided our first day/night away was a GREAT time to feed every two hours... for those of you smart people without children, that means she had to be fed, burped, changed and put back to sleep within each two hour window before my own sleep could be attempted.)

I got a call a week or so ago that was not unlikely in this ecconomic climate, one of my temp contracts has been finalised due to a restructure. There are several staff moving on from the employer and even more moving within the company to different roles. I was very glad to follow up on the other contract to find that they were as keen as ever to have me back. I plan to follow up on the after hours casual job very soon, as I hope to start back there fairly soon-ish given the astonishing rate of dissipation of the savings. The good part about the temp contracts is that they are willing to do some of the legwork if and when I want more, sure beats scanning the ads myself!

There was probably more to say, but I can't think of it at the moment - lets hope it prompts me to write again, sooner.

Mind the Bump!

This is me at 19 weeks, 2 days. I wasn't overly happy with the bump picture at the time, so did not share it - might have also had something to do with being tired and having limited recreation time!















This one is me at 24 weeks and 5 days. Syill not happy with how fat I look, compared to how pregnant I look...















This is 26weeks and 4 days.

I'm now 27 weeks and 6 days, so this was taken just over a week ago.


I'm starting to feel like I have ceased to be me and have simply become the host of Squiddley Diddley...

These photos are not flattering at all - I don't feel as big as these photos make me look! In fact the scales agree - motherhood has been good to my body, mostly, so far.

Tomorrow I officially reach 28 weeks, which is officially the third trimester. As my Obstetrician said today, it is a big milestone.


My breathing is getting shallower as bubs is pushing up under my ribs (and getting in some good kicks too!). In the last few days the movements have been changing - I think there is less swimming and more co-ordination to the exercises - there is definitely more strength. She can take me sit up straighter, stop mid sentence or make me need to pee in an instant.

It is good though.

Every day I get to feel her and know her.

I'm looking forward to meeting her in about 3 months time!



Life has been moving on - BabyCakes had a big weekend a few back, and took over 300kg of green waste to the dump and found a new favorite toy on the process. We were loaned an amazing saw on a pole which BabyCakes loved so much he googled it, and found out it was worth about $700 - ouch! With the storm that has his this week we were very glad he'd attacked the tree he did, when he did. I'm sure it saved us work (and probably cost too).

I've applied for a full time government job. The job would offer some security and a pay rise - and a single employer! I submitted the application on the weekend ad don't have a clue when/if they will contact me - wish me luck!

Christmas is approaching, which is exciting and daunting both. I'm looking forward to the inevitable catching up that happens around the festive season, but the speed at which it is approaching is amazing. I suppose I'll have to look at Christmas shopping soon!

The baby shower was great - so much fun. I was also very lucky in the gifts that I received, a sewing machine, some gorgeous baby clothes, and some very cute Modern Cloth Nappies - but more about them anon!

Oh, and we discovered we have termites.... but we should be able to sort them out reletively easily due to catching them early...

and we bought a new washing machine. We must be domestic, because we weren't even close to temped to chuck in a wide screen TV while we were there!



I think that's enough for now... chat soon.

Hey Look! Less Than a Week Between Posts!

Hiya,

Later today I'll be attending my baby shower. It's on the early side, but I knew a couple of people that were due to give birth in November and Christmas functions always tend to over run schedules later in the year, so we thought early would be good. It is somewhat of a pity that we didn't check in with baby R's schedule, because he decided he wanted his Birthday last weekend!

I'm still looking forward to high tea (cups of tea, but with food - yum!), and some baby inspired games (I'm told), and just generally catching up with the women in my life. I have amassed a surprising number of them. When it came to suggesting a guest list, I very quickly had to stop at family and the very closest of friends, because I do want to be able to talk to people, and despite what people might think of showers, it wasn't a gift grabbing exercise - I'd be happy not receive a single gift except to see people.

I've never had a baby shower, so it will be curious to report back on what happens!

In the mean time, this blog entry is brought to you by the fact that I should be doing a weeks worth of cleaning.... and obviously writing the blog is easier to do than cleaning!

I actually feel like I have energy today, so I shall start the cleaning soon - nothing like an impending visit from the in-laws to motivate one! BabyCakes is at work, having survived the Slipknot concert - and all it's pyros and stage effects that he got to see last night.

Squidley Didley is kicking up a storm - getting stronger and more co-ordinated now, but I've learned how to tune out the smaller movements so it is easier to cope with - quite cute in fact. Most of the kicks and punches visibly make my belly move, and I can imagine that soon enough (maybe in the next month to six weeks), that we'll get to see pointy feet, hands, elbows or knees stick out when bubs tries to roll around.

I have my next Obstetrician's appointment next week, and after that one they swap from monthly to fortnightly, so that will be a big chunk out of my schedule (and bank balance). I've booked my 32 week scan (about Christmas time), to see if my placenta has moved appropriately to allow for a vaginal birth - I don't know yet if that'd be a good or a bad thing... Despite how battered and bruised a vaginal birth can leave one, I do it is the optimum for mother and child given there is no medical need for a ceasarian section. (Major surgery is not something I could do just for the sake of it...)

We've also booked in for our one day ante-natal class at the hospital too - I wonder how BabyCakes will cope witht he child birth videos - for that matter, I wonder how I'll cope! We're both regularly having baby dreams... last night I dreamed I had octuplets... 4 boys and 4 girls.... and BabyCakes had a dream where a nurse decided to give me a c-section without anesthetic, and even over my screams he heard the baby's first cry, and then we both cried too...


Life is good.




I should do some dishes now though.

An Update.

I was specifically requested to update news of bubs, but before I do, I am delighted for my friends S & A who welcomed to the world this morning a beautiful little boy, 5 weeks early but mum and baby are doing well. On top of that, My brother B turned 30 today, so Happy Birthday again B!


As for me, bubs has been dubbed "Squidley Didley" in the last fortnight or so. It very quickly went from "Is that a movement?" to BabyCakes feeling a kick to "My goodness child, please sit sill for a while!".

I've gotten much better able to cope with the endless bumps and squirms of baby working out how to move limbs and and how much strength she has. To start with it was like a neverending stomach upset, without the feeling ill, just the churning... and the knowledge there is a person inside me. It is as odd as it sounds. Very very cool, but pretty weird too! I think the constancy of the movement also took it's toll by way of some very vivid dreams, and the feelings stirred by the dreams impacting my day. I had a dream where someone completely dismissed me, which made me angry, so I told BabyCakes (in the dream) and he didn't take much notice. I then woke up, and told him about the dream, and guess what? At 5:30am, he wasn't that indignant that someone treated me that way - in my dream! I was grumpy all morning, until I told my boss at the first job of the day how I'd woken up in a bad mood due to a dream - he told me how his wife wouldn't talk to him for two weeks when she was pregnant, because she had had a dream he was having an affair...

This weekend I've discovered Braxton Hicks contractions... equally odd, and unsettling. I've done a bit of reading and it seems that it's all pretty normal for how far along I am. Through this though, Squidley Didley has managed to refine her kicking skills to find all kinds of organs and piece of the anatomy that don't usually get that kind of stimulus.... sharp pains and weird sensations seem to be the norm for these few weeks! Apparently this is all likely to continue to get worse, while bub's strength increases and she can still swim around... in another 6 weeks or so, the space starts to get a bit more confining and I can expect less swimming!

Life has continued it's hectic pace, lots of work, lots of family, and trying to make time to rest a bit in between. Today we loaded up the back of BabyCakes' car with 80 kgs or green waste and went on a tip run. It was satisfying to see how much stuff you can stack into a small space when you try! It is also good to see how much of a dent in the pile of branches we'd been collecting. We really need to give the yard some more attention - we've been ignoring it a bit too much of late. With the onset of the Birthday season in my family, I am very aware of how quickly Christmas will be upon us.


Oh, and for those that I told about my mobile phone dying.... I got a new one, my first ever Nokia.

Time to sit on the couch a while before dinner.

Hope you're having fun folks!

Technology is an Amazing Thing.

Hello!

It has been a while since I posted - but a lot seems to be happening. Next Wednesday will see the official half way mark of the pregnancy - how fast did that go??

We were delighted this week to get a chance to see bubs again, wiggling away in my belly. We even got a DVD of the whole scan so that we can show grandparents, and keep a record for bubs too. Baby was kicking and waving her arms, but abstained from flips (which is good from a sonography point of view!) I think the Ultra sounds might be a bit louder for developing ears - she (yes, she) kept kicking out at the scanner when we were trying to count her toes (10 - yay!) and kept turning away, and trying to cover her face with her hands (5 fingers each - yay!) /arms. She was at one point rolling away and was face down just to make things interesting!

The things they check for these days are amazing. Club feet, cleft palate, holes in the heart chamber walls, spinal condition, kidney/stomach function, lung development, cataracts, herniated diaphragm... the list goes on. Another instance where we were delighted to hear "average" and "normal" :) Our little girlie hid her genitals from us for quite a while, and it wasn't until the last 5 minutes of the 90 minute process that we were able to get a 99% confirmation of gender. BabyCakes was delighted to be proven right (he's said from the day after the pee-on-a-stick that it was a girl), and has already promised her a pink football.

The night of the scan we went out and bought little pink cot linen... and some pink ugg boots that were on special and too cute to pass up!

So, baby stuff has featured heavily recently, but as always, is not the whole of our life.

I have four jobs, which as expected keeps me busy, and BabyCakes has been hard at work trying to keep the commissions coming in. We were very happy this week to receive a letter from our credit union saying they are passing on the RBA's cut in official interest rates - yay! That means our mortgage didn't quite get to the threatened high, and keeps the repayment under the round figure mark... small victories, but you have to celebrate them!

La Boite Theatre Company is currently hosting The Wishing Well, which has been very well received by those that have attended, but unfortunately, not that well attended. The show closes tonight, but if my shift late this week is anything to go by, hopefully the last couple of shows will fill up nicely. My in-laws went to see the show in week one of the season, and very much enjoyed the show.

I've promised to take BabyCakes out for a night out to see the next La Boite Theatre Company season show, Attack of the Attacking Attackers, which looks like a lot of fun (they've just upgraded the warnings of Medium level coarse language, Sexual References, Adult Themes, Depictions of Violence too... which should get some more bums on seats). In between the seasons there are also other visiting shows, which means more work for me... YAY!

I have a shift today, which means I probably should be getting ready for that instead of blogging ;)

We went camping last weekend, which was fun, I will tell you more about it anon.... I really do need to get moving!

It is my sister's Birthday today, so Happy Birthday L, if you are reading!

Confessions of a Crazy Cat Lady

O.k.

My posts have been non-existent for a while now as I've had a fair bit on my plate recently. Life changing "oh-my-goodness-I-can't-believe-this-is-happening-to-me" kinds of stuff happening.

I posted briefly that my job of nine and a half years doesn't exist any more, which in itself is not super stressful given the pay out etc. I'm a capable person, I should be able to find a job well before the money runs out... right? Right!

But..


(Remember my post two posts ago? Get ready to laugh, or gasp - your choice)


Factor in the fact that I found out I was pregnant about a week before I found out I was redundant, and you get a "oh-my-goodness-I-can't-believe-this-is-happening-to-me" kinda moment. My (now ex-)boss was telling me how he'd tried hard to drum up business and what it means to him and his family that he has to wind up the business and stuff, and I'm crying, and crying.

I'm thinking about the mortgage, and the interest rate rises (I stopped counting when they went up over $250 a month from when we got the mortgage in November) and now I have no maternity leave and what the hell am I going to do about child care and what is a new employer going to say when after they give me a job they find out that I have to have time off and we can't pay the mortgage on one wage let alone eat, AND look after one more... and lots more.

I was 6 weeks pregnant. My learning curve had already been steep, and was getting steeper. I'd already been told by my GP (on a Friday afternoon) "Book an Obstetrician now - don't leave it till Monday, because they might not have any space left". I'd already had to change my health care cover, book a spot in hospital for February and answer all kinds of questions you had no idea you'd need to know the answer to within a week of peeing on a stick.

I'm crying as I'm typing this, reliving the memories - welcome to pregnancy hormones, they kick in pretty quick - as well as the need to pee a LOT! Thankfully, I'm at 9 weeks now and have so far dodged the morning sickness bullet - job hunting whilst not knowing when I was likely to puke would REALLY suck!

I've currently got two part time "temp" jobs, both should see me up to when I pop, and one possibly beyond that... so it is a good start - but still only about 22-25 hours a week. It looks like I'll have Tuesdays and Thursdays to fill in with more work. I'm seriously looking at applying for a casual Box Office job at La Boite (Thanks Rastas!), which might be able to supplement the hours enough to make ends meet.



We had our first Obstetrician's appointment last week (I ended up getting an obstetrician without any drama), which was nerve wracking and exciting. We had our first scan and heard and saw a strong heartbeat, and development measured exactly to my dates - heartening.


So, those are our first baby pics - can you see it?

It's a bit of a magic eye test at this stage, but as far as I remember, the baby is the grey bit between the crosses (where they are measuring how big it is - 7 cms long), on the right is the head, and the left is the butt. The white "smile" is the cord. The obstetrician got all excited when she saw the head move during the scanning process, and I think she was a bit miffed we didn't get more excited too - but we didn't know where we were looking - and to be honest, the blinking heartbeat was mesmerising for me. That was as big as seeing the two lines on the stick in the "OMG this is happening" stakes. I think it was for BabyCakes too.

So, we've told family, because we knew they would be too excited for us to not tell them, and now we're telling our friends.

Take your time to get used to it - we won't be offended if you don't want to talk about it yet. This *is* our anouncement though, so we won't be making specific calls etc. Feel free to pass the news on to people you think might want to know.

We're happy (if not a little worried about money), but we're sure we can cope with this. It was ironic that life just exploded into a whole world of change for us, all at once. We thought getting married was the biggest change we would have this year!

For those of you that want the specifics, we're at 9 weeks 1 day, and the estimated date of delivery is February 11th 2009.

BabyCakes thinks we're having a girl... I have no idea - I'll settle for a happy, healthy baby :)