tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-363245432024-03-07T15:28:38.674+10:00Memoirs of a Crazy Cat LadyA window into my world. <br>
The bizarre world that is my life...
<br>
the fun....
<br>
the tears...
<br>
the joy...
<br>
the weirdos!Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.comBlogger158125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-83731362746023570092011-12-17T06:56:00.003+10:002011-12-17T06:56:41.076+10:00Hug a Little TighterHug your family tighter. Time is fleeting and you never know when things could change. Love one another. <br />
<br />
Laugh together.<br />
<br />
Remember to enjoy the small things, they can pass all too quickly.<br />
<br />
I am a lucky woman. I have two beautiful girls who make me smile and a wonderful husband. Life is good. The girls are growing strong (and fast). Miss Barry is four months old and exploring more and more of the world. Miss Squid will be three in little more than a month. Time marches on and life is good.<br />
<br />
Christmas is next week and I'm looking forward to enjoying it with our family, especially as Miss Squid is starting to comprehend a little more about it and anticipate it. Last year she only just started learning about enjoying the idea of presents. I am looking forward to seeing her realise that there is a group of presents for her.<br />
<br />
Mostly, I will appreciate my good fortune in having a happy and healthy family. I have heard too many stories of loss of a loved one, even children. Today, I will try to live life for today and take as much enjoyment as I can from each moment.<br />
<br />
<br />Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-59468124893863183392011-10-23T11:58:00.000+10:002011-10-23T11:59:07.495+10:00I Bet You Weren't Expecting This...Another post... in recent proximity to the last two!<br />
<br />
It is amazing what some sleep can do for one's energy levels. Miss Barry is being an absolute gem and allowing me to get some decent uninterrupted sleep blocks and it is doing wonders for my enjoyment of life. (Writing this down, however, could be the kiss off death to this good run of course!)<br />
<br />
I'm feeling happy, relaxed, energetic and inspired.<br />
<br />
I've even been able to focus on myself a little bit and have been exercising, eating better and setting goals. These things have had flow on effects to make other parts of life easier to deal with too.<br />
<br />
Life this week has been quite enjoyable. <br />
<br />
Now, on to some planning for Christmas...Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-20125499673449668402011-10-17T13:45:00.001+10:002011-10-17T14:08:04.357+10:00My Bucket ListI thought I'd start a list to record & track a list of "I want to do some day" things. <br />
<br />
This is a post I plan to update and re-visit periodically.<br />
<br />
<ul><li>See Aurora Borealis</li>
<li>See Aurora Australis</li>
<li>Host a 3 course dinner party</li>
<li>Visit Japan</li>
<li>Go on a helicopter ride</li>
<li>Maintain a vegetable garden for a full year</li>
<li>Take another cruise</li>
<li>Spring clean the entire house before spring ends</li>
<li><br />
</li>
</ul>Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-91749947593056436052011-10-09T09:17:00.001+10:002011-10-09T09:55:49.031+10:00Remembering MeHi there,<br /><br />Remember me? I used to write here a lot more. Then I had children and they took up most of my "spare" time. <br /><br />This morning I had an epiphany. I need to create, and children are too damn expensive as a creative pursuit despite how well those collaborations turn out.<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/show_photo.php?p=11/10/08/3815.jpg'><img src='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/photos/11/10/08/s_3815.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br />I have decided it is time to prioritise some time regularly for creative endevours. This might be blogging, card making, painting, sewing or other randomness. I might even showcase some of my efforts on the blogs. Mostly this is a commitment that I will write more often (feel free to hurry me up if you actually read and I haven't posted in a while), but for now I have to return to trying to get Miss Barry to go to sleep.<br />Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-52213196862935254462011-03-10T05:08:00.001+10:002011-03-10T05:08:31.699+10:00Never DullLife has been interesting, certainly not dull the last few weeks. Many many dramas, some of my own making, some of my family's.<br /><br />It's consufsing and stressful.<br /><br />I guess though, there is a status quo in that though and at the very least it is getting a bit harder to keep my head up my own bum. Drama and crisies make it harder to indulge one's own self importance/indulgences. I probably needed that about now. A shift in focus, away from the minutae of my life.<br /><br />Miss Squid continues to be the shining light in my life, she is chicken soup for my soul when I let her be. She is art, beauty, love, innocence. She inspires me to be better than I am.<br /><br />Nearly half way through as Barry's host, we find out next week if indeed it is a Barry or a Barry-ette on board, if they care to share with us. I think I have felt Barry move a bit in the last week or so, but nothing super definitive yet. The blubber and the anterior placenta make it a bit hard to tell.<br /><br />It's dark, only slightly earlier than alarm time, on my day off. I think it might be time to have a cup of tea and enjoy the solitude.<br /><br /><br /><br />Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-8700281134917215002011-02-28T11:26:00.000+10:002011-02-28T11:26:19.831+10:00Motivation, My Fickle FriendToday I feel motivated which makes a really nice change from where I've been very recently. <br />
<br />
Maybe it is the effect of trimester 2, although I still tire easily so I'm not really sure. Yesterday and today have been quite productive. Let's hope I can maintain it for long enough to get some stuff done!<br />
<br />
Miss Squid is distracting me in the most delightful ways, she is growing so fast and so wonderfully. She is easy to be with and has magical giggles.<br />
<br />
I must away, to make the most of my visit from my fickle friend!Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-33629266427917684652011-01-16T11:41:00.000+10:002011-01-16T11:41:32.237+10:00The Best of PeopleIts been a stressful week.<br />
<br />
One story that made my day was recounted to me by our neighbour yesterday.<br />
<br />
He has a business in the Albion region that was under threat from flood water. He was at the shop with his business partner as they watched the water lap at their bottom step before it receded. The businesses on the other side of the street were not so lucky.<br />
<br />
Down the road from his shop were two antique shops, side by side. One shop owner had built a mezzanine floor a couple of years ago and moved all their stock to the higher level as the threat neared. The other shop had a huge shop full of stock that could not be protected in the same way. The owner was staring down the barrel of losing it all. Then a truck arrived.<br />
<br />
It was a competitor from the next suburb up the hill's truck. They offered their empty warehouse and truck to help move all the threatened stock. The truck went back and forth before they finished moving out every piece at midnight.<br />
<br />
That people are so generous with their resources, time and energy in the face of adversity makes me very hopeful for the world in which Miss Squid lives.Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-28519021916383327212010-12-24T20:34:00.000+10:002010-12-24T20:34:58.994+10:00Greetings of the SeasonHiya folks,<br />
<br />
Sorry for the lack of posts - life gets busy!<br />
<br />
Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of friends and family at this time.<br />
<br />
I hope that this time is filled with peace, hope, love and fun.<br />
<br />
Stay safe folks, hopefully we will catch up in 2011.<br />
<br />
Love.Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-16267374279502420082010-10-12T05:01:00.000+10:002010-10-12T05:01:04.603+10:00Good Morning WorldI must be getting more sleep than I was, because today I woke at 3:30 and could not get back to sleep.<br />
<br />
After laying in bed some time with my mind ticking away furiously I decided I would be better off with some quiet time before routine imposes itself upon me. <br />
<br />
Life has been good. It has certainly not dull, but I feel more centred and able to cope with life at the moment than I have in a long long time.<br />
<br />
Days tend to melt into each other with little pockets of change but there is an underlying level of contentment that is very satisfying.<br />
<br />
BabyCakes is working hard, and having a frustrating time with a big project, but hopefully one day soon the job will end and we can move on from it and not have to deal with all the drama that seems to emanate from the project.<br />
<br />
Miss Squid is growing and evolving in front of our eyes in the most wonderful ways. Her vocabulary is growing and she surprises us almost daily with new words. In the last week we have had some social events with her cousins and second cousins, and have really noticed how tall she is getting. She needs to work on her sharing skills a little more, but I think that is all a part of growing up.<br />
<br />
I think all three of us have found a bit of a pattern in life and are glad to maintain the routines, which for my money, are much better than the manic mayhem that tends to develop without them. Some days I do wonder if I'm getting a little boring but I do realise that this is not my life forever, just for now, until something else comes along to move the centre of balance.<br />
<br />
I hope I find more time and energy to write again soon.Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-18657791121287702572010-06-29T19:05:00.001+10:002010-06-29T19:05:54.393+10:00A Quick UpdateStill losing weight :) 4.1kgs to date. Some weeks have had smaller losses than others, but so far a steady downward path. It has been heartening.<br />
<br />
<br />
This week will be telling, I haven't been counting points!Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-81347049439170595662010-05-29T09:46:00.000+10:002010-05-29T09:46:17.241+10:00A Start.Weigh in is weekly. 1.2kg down.<br />
<br />
More importantly, my awareness of portion sizes and the my ability to exercise self control has been re-confirmed. I'm happy with the start.<br />
<br />
Now to maintain the programme.<br />
<br />
:)Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-52825854729423082652010-05-24T18:31:00.000+10:002010-05-24T18:31:06.708+10:00The Edge.I'm at the edge. The edge of a place I'd rather not be. <br />
<br />
Our Wii Fit tells me I'm dangerously close to the "Obese" line, which is interesting given the amount of people willing to tell me "You're not fat". The inanimate software is not afraid to tell me I'm almost obese, it has not rose coloured glasses to soften the blow. <br />
<br />
I must say, I tend to agree more with the machine than the well meaning friends. I caught sight of myself in a shop window last week and it horrified me. I looked positively round. It is always confronting when I have one of those "slap in the face" moments. There is a part of my head that thinks I'm at the other end of the "ideal weight" range. It is where I was when I was 23 and I don't feel that much different in my head, mostly. Then I look a bit harder. <br />
<br />
I was pretty much a control freak when I was younger. I think I have mellowed a fair bit as I got older. In some ways I like the more relaxed me, I'm not so uptight. The discipline could be better though. It seems like an obvious thing to say, but I think my lack of discipline spilling over into my attitude towards food has had a lot to to with my weight issues. I reactively became a lot more self indulgent when I learned I could be. When my life became less structured, it became *really* less structured.<br />
<br />
Unsurprisingly, these changes mirror the time my weight started ballooning. There was also a dalliance with hormonal contraceptive in there too. That's a whole other story though.<br />
<br />
So, I think discipline as much as the hand/mouth thing is key to working my way through this to a healthier weight. I have started Weight Watchers and even in few days since I've started things have changed a fair bit. Just the simple fact of knowing I have to write down what I eat makes me more inclined to think about it, let alone the scary prospect of having to assign a point value to it.<br />
<br />
The programme itself only has a weekly weigh in so I'll see how that goes on Thursday. I did drag out the Wii Fit today though, and I think I'm in a good spot. <br />
<br />
I was talking to a friend about my weight and proposed weight loss and life in general. They very confidently said "I don't doubt you can lose the weight you want, you gave up smoking." A statement that made me think about things completely differently, and much more positively. I was a smoker for pretty much 15 years before I managed to shake it, and I feel quite happy to be an ex-smoker this time round. I have no desire to get close to starting smoking again. The last time I quit was vastly different from any of the times previous - well for a start, I actually did stop and for about 3 years now, which is a pretty big difference really), but other than that, it was surprisingly easy. I didn't really struggle.<br />
<br />
I have been overweight for about 10-12 years now, so that's less time, and I feel happy that this time is different. My head is in a different spot, and I really believe I will do this, and be able to make permanent changes to how I eat. <br />
<br />
I am ready to walk away from the edge, and never get there again.<br />
<br />
This post took about 3 days to write, so I apologise if there are inconsistencies in tense or I repeated too much!Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-67675539302703858212010-02-04T13:57:00.000+10:002010-02-04T13:57:50.238+10:00Busy Busy Busy!It has been too long since my last post, I dare say that there will be no-one left who checks my blog! <br />
<br />
On the off chance there are people who still check, I will try to post more regularly!<br />
<br />
Also, in an effort to reclaim my identity apart from mother, I have created a blog just for <a href="http://misssquid.blogspot.com/">Miss Squid's stories</a>. This is so I have a record independent of Crazy Cat Lady that one day Miss Squid might even take over herself.<br />
<br />
Life is good.<br />
<br />
I'm starting to re-find myself, having finished up breastfeeding at about 10 months, and losing the last of the baby hormones at that time. I do feel different since losing the hormones. I have lost some of the lingering drive to put aside "the plan" and have another baby sooner rather than later. The thought still lingers, but it is easier to rationalise.<br />
<br />
The household is starting to get more sleep and more of a routine, which is WONDERFUL! We're starting to have more energy to take control of our lives and catch up on stuff around the house (even aside from sleep). <br />
<br />
Recently we've tidied the spare/computer room and managed to fit a double bed in there to give us more flexibility when we have friends and family visiting. Babycakes has also done a large scale (and much needed) clean up under the house and it looks fantastic.<br />
<br />
I've also started on another theatre project as Assistant Director for <a href="http://www.artstheatre.com.au/index.php?page_id=coming_up">Catch 22</a> at the <a href="http://www.artstheatre.com.au/">Brisbane Arts Theatre</a>. We're 3 weeks into rehearsal and it is shaping up well. Most excitingly the cast seem very keen and talented. I'm looking forward to seeing how it develops over the next few weeks. I expect we'll have quite an entertaining show come show time!<br />
<br />
I will try to write again soon, and now that I'm starting to have more energy, I realistically expect I can do it!<br />
<br />
Until then!Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-68248329552266883172009-10-04T16:05:00.002+10:002009-10-04T16:05:57.911+10:00The Battle...<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/s13dLaTIHSg&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/s13dLaTIHSg&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-80440635438034632792009-09-30T15:53:00.001+10:002009-09-30T15:57:38.028+10:00On The Move.Miss Squid is well and truly on the move now...<br />
<br />
<br />
<embed width="448" height="361" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://i142.photobucket.com/player.swf?file=http://vid142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/MVI_2540.flv"></embed>Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-8474241941913875232009-08-30T08:14:00.004+10:002009-08-30T08:57:12.102+10:00Easy Like a Sunday MorningIt's Sunday.<br /><br />The neighbourhood is largely quiet except for the occasional dog barking and bird chirping.<br /><br />Miss Squid is on the floor, starting to get frustrated that she can't move where she wants. She can move, but so far its not directed movement. She rolls and finds herself off her rug and onto the carpet. She then proceeds to wiggle and squirm in a way which only serves to make her skin red, without managing to get closer to the toys that were once all around her, before she rolled away from them.<br /><br />I'm torn between giving her what she loudly expresses she wants, and letting her find a way through the frustration to take action and overcome the first of many hurdles she has to face. I settle on repositioning her in the midst of the toys sprinkled on her mat, propping her in a slouched sit. The toys provide the motivation to slowly lower herself to the floor as she reaches for a toy and again she is on her belly and soon doing 360s again as she pulls herself around in circles with her upper body, her legs moving, but very much uncoordinated with her upper half.<br /><br />It is a simple pleasure, exciting and ordinary all in one as we watch and anticipate the huge leap of independent movement which is happening and about to happen.<br /><br />Miss squid flashes us her gummy smiles, no sign of teeth despite the huge amounts of food she consumes: cereal, fruit, veggies, yoghurt, toast - all devoured happily, readily and with gusto.<br /><br />She is growing well.<br /><br /><br />She makes me smile and I'm glad to spend my time with her.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRFuNVvqK9ZVVnbDu21KW0SEkG2QuW0__43vZtmLXc9cxAFKoM2r1UaQVwJWZmC09LQGEgtrkevwEvlm21Gw1bZq9jAnPpDeLyxKDaZUKuRn-umJXd_S1q0gJDi_AugKfwfnSDeQ/s1600-h/005.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRFuNVvqK9ZVVnbDu21KW0SEkG2QuW0__43vZtmLXc9cxAFKoM2r1UaQVwJWZmC09LQGEgtrkevwEvlm21Gw1bZq9jAnPpDeLyxKDaZUKuRn-umJXd_S1q0gJDi_AugKfwfnSDeQ/s320/005.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5375523151526815042" border="0" /></a>Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-21219057347297905962009-05-24T19:18:00.001+10:002009-05-24T19:22:04.924+10:00Afternoon Chat<embed width="448" height="361" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://i142.photobucket.com/player.swf?file=http://vid142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/talkative.flv"></embed>Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-32709323803070581542009-05-20T18:26:00.001+10:002009-05-20T18:27:57.784+10:00Squiddley Wiggles and SqueaksNot great quality, and the noise is quiet, but fun none-the-less.<br /><br /><embed width="448" height="361" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://s142.photobucket.com/flash/player.swf?file=http://vid142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/wiggleandsqueal.flv"></embed>Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-79264549744736019452009-03-29T14:26:00.002+10:002009-03-29T17:48:19.776+10:00Busy Doing Nothing....Life is busy. I'm not feeling particularly constructive at the moment, but I'm busy.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/Bath.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 292px; height: 400px;" src="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/Bath.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Squiddley is 2 months old now! I'm glad to say that we are still breastfeeding after some stressful times early on, and still using cloth nappies - initially with disposables as a back up, but now have been disposable-less for over a week, and surviving just fine.<br /><br />My happy hormones have deserted me, which is a shame to say the least. They really did help in coping with the broken sleep and constant demand of another person utterly dependent on you. Don't get me wrong, I haven't fallen off into an abyss of PND, it just means I have to work a bit harder at not being upset at being woken up 2 hours after I'd fallen asleep, or that just when I think it is safe to make a sandwich, have a shower or hang out a load of laundry, not swear too much when a plaintive cry is heard from the bassinette. I definitely have to work a lot harder to be nice to people complaining of being tired when they've had 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep!<br /><br />Squiddley is growing well and gracing us daily with smiles which are the perfect tonic to the tiredness. She is more and more alert and curious about the world around her. Her movements are getting a bit more deliberate and a little less jerky (she regularly gets fingers/hand to mouth to suck on). She loves bath time and being in the thick of the action. She rarely cries and when she does, we can usually work out what is wrong in a fairly short space of time.<br /><br />We've moved through the milestones of the six week check ups and the two month immunisations with reasonable ease and are starting to get more social in mixing with others. Last week we had no less than three social outings with different mothers and children, and this week is shaping up similarly. Add in the requisite grandparent visits (two sets local enough to warrant frequent visits) and she is an absolute social butterfly.<br /><br />Squiddley has even had her first plane flight to canberra for her Uncle and Aunt's wedding (congratulations again to them!). She of course took it all in her stride, spending the entire first flight like this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/IMG_2058.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 279px; height: 372px;" src="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/IMG_2058.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I met some lovely people whilst at the wedding festivities and truly regret not saying goodbye whilst in my sleep deprived haze. (Squiddly was in the midst of a growth spurt and decided our first day/night away was a GREAT time to feed every two hours... for those of you smart people without children, that means she had to be fed, burped, changed and put back to sleep within each two hour window before my own sleep could be attempted.)<br /><br />I got a call a week or so ago that was not unlikely in this ecconomic climate, one of my temp contracts has been finalised due to a restructure. There are several staff moving on from the employer and even more moving within the company to different roles. I was very glad to follow up on the other contract to find that they were as keen as ever to have me back. I plan to follow up on the after hours casual job very soon, as I hope to start back there fairly soon-ish given the astonishing rate of dissipation of the savings. The good part about the temp contracts is that they are willing to do some of the legwork if and when I want more, sure beats scanning the ads myself!<br /><br />There was probably more to say, but I can't think of it at the moment - lets hope it prompts me to write again, sooner.Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-28089071471270059892009-02-17T13:09:00.003+10:002009-02-17T13:32:57.325+10:00I Know How I Could Make Millions...If I could bottle the effects of the hormones I have coursing through my body right now, I'd be rich.<br /><br />I feel fantastic. <br /><br />I'm happy, calm, serene, and all of this on broken, disjointed sleep of a duration less than my norm.<br /><br />I celebrate poos, wees, burps and farts. <br /><br />My routine, my life has gone out the window. <br /><br />The bank balance is dwindling at an alarming rate.<br /><br />And to top it off, most alarmingly, I would happily be pregnant again tomorrow despite the fact that intellectually I know that is not our plan, nor is it something I'd aspire to.<br /><br />I'm very happy. This is working for me at this point in time. <br /><br />I like it.Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-79049549728898777152009-02-07T08:10:00.005+10:002011-07-13T14:02:26.749+10:00The Birth of our BabyBearIt seems so long ago, and yet BabyBear is only 11 days old today.<br />
<br />
Warning up front, this might not be everyone's cup of tea to read. This is a post that I need to write, but doesn't need to be read :) It does involve commentary and description of some of the icky parts of my experience of childbirth. It's also very long.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
On Australia Day we went to a housewarming/Hottest 100 BBQ party at a friends' house. As such parties go, it was an all day party and we deliberately went before lunch so we could stay for a meal but head off if I started getting tired as heavily pregnant women are wont to do.<br />
<br />
The party hosts did have a pool which was a welcome distraction from the fact that once again I was designated driver whilst people all around me were drinking happily.<br />
<br />
We ended up getting home from the party at about 9:30pm, so I must have been somewhat distracted with the water. BabyCakes is glad to hear that the OB's appointment scheduled for the next day is an afternoon appointment, and not our usual 8am ish one.<br />
<br />
I toddled off to bed and BabyCakes stayed up playing poker on facebook. He tells me he came to bed about midnight. Somewhere after 3am I needed to go to the loo, again. As a pregnant woman, you do get used to this, but retrospectively the fact that I'd been in the hour before should have been a tip off that something was different. So, I went, I wiped, I see pink. Once again, as a pregnant woman, checking of toilet paper for blood is something even the sanest most laid back women do given it is a big indicator that something is happening at all stages of pregnancy, sometimes good, sometimes bad. This is not something that bothers me at this late stage of pregnancy, it can mean labour is immanent, or it might not. One thing any health professional will want to know is how much blood there was, so one needs to get a panty liner to monitor this.<br />
<br />
I lifted my leg up to get my knickers up (bending is difficult with a big round belly), and feel a small gush. I know I didn't wee myself, I know I didn't "do" it. I'm not 100% sure because an extra 10+kgs of weight pushing on one's lower body doesn't do a lot for one's bladder control. I know I need to talk to the hospital for some advice, so I toddle off to find the piece of paper with appropriate phone numbers etc. BabyCakes gets woken by my search, but manages to stay in bed when I tell him not to worry, and that I'll talk to the hospital and find out what to do.<br />
<br />
The midwife I talk to on the phone tells me it sounds like waters breaking, and to come in, but don't rush, and if I'd like to wait an hour or so until I'm sure, that'd be ok too. I decide to head in straight away, and by the time we get downstairs to the car, I was sure. The bag was packed, and all I had to do was grab a couple of towels to sit on and BabyCakes looked after the bag.<br />
<br />
We got to the hospital which was somewhat locked up in the middle of the night, so we needed a security escort downstairs. Thankfully, another couple had arrived just moments before us so we weren't in unfamiliar territory alone. As I'd stood up out of the car I'd had a gush of water, and it continued all the way to the labour ward. It was such a disgusting feeling to be leaking and not be able to control it.<br />
<br />
We were met by a midwife who ushered us into our birth suite. I got changed into some dry clothes and waited for the midwife to come back and give me a bit of an examination and hooked me up to monitor bubs and any contractions. She felt baby through my belly and gave me the bad news that while baby's head was down and in my pelvis, her back was towards my back. I'd done my reading on labour (forewarned is forearmed!), and I knew a posterior labour (back to back) was destined to be long and ouchy, and felt more in my back than in my belly. The ideal presentation for a baby is the baby's back to mum's belly button. They can turn during labour, but don't always. The good news was that baby was completely and utterly not distressed .<br />
<br />
The biggest problem was that labour hadn't started. Labour didn't start by the time my OB did her rounds at 6am ish. She did an internal exam which is not the most comfortable thing I've ever had a doctor do... More bad news, I was one cm dilated and my cervix was long and closed. To top it off, it seemed the leaking waters I experienced seemed to be a hind water leak (high in my belly), and the waters were intact below baby's head. The doctor used a charming tool that looked like a jumbo plastic crochet hook to pop this bit to try and wake up my body into starting contractions. It didn't, and by 7am when nothing started naturally, I was put onto a drip of chemical (oxytocin) designed to help start labour. I was hooked up to the monitor again, and we waited to see what happened.<br />
<br />
The nurse came and went, taking me off the monitor, turning up the drip dose, putting me back on the monitor, etc. etc. BabyCakes snoozed in a vinyl recliner, and I tried to "rest" but wasn't in sleep mode. Lunch was brought in, and I was advised to stick to the light options, BabyCakes had the heavier fare, and after lunch my OB came back to visit again. More bad news. 1 cm dilated still. I needed another bag of oxytocin, cranked up to max dosage. I tried to stay upright, bouncing on a fit ball, trying to encourage baby out. The contractions did start, and they <span style="font-style: italic;">were</span> all in my back. I asked for a heat pack, which in concert with BabyCakes' massage brought me some relief. The contractions weren't super regular, but I had faith in my body to do it's funky thing, and I'd hoped for progress. During this section my temperature went up slightly, so I was given some antibiotics via the drip to deal with any possible infection.<br />
<br />
When my OB came at 5pm and did another internal to tell me I was only 1.5cm dilated, I was devastated.<br />
<br />
My OB knew I wanted a minimal intervention birth.<br />
<br />
She explained to us that the chemical being used to stimulate labour was also the same chemical they give you post delivery to encourage the uterus to contract and clot the blood at the placenta site, and there was a concern if too much was given now, that it wouldn't work then, and I would bleed too much (which doesn't sound like a good option). She said we could trial labour some more, but the reality is, babies only come out if there is 10cms dilation, 2cm, 4cm, 6cm just does not cut it, you need the full 10cm. I also knew that the contractions were getting to the point that I would fast need pain relief - an epidural would not likely be given (not that I asked) because they tend to slow down labour, and we were doing everything to speed it up, so that would mean gas and pethidine as pain relief... Also, I'd been awake since 3am, having had a big day the day before, I was tired and emotional. I told Steve that I didn't think I'd cope if I'd continued for however long they'd have let me and still ended up with cesarean as the best option. We decided that while baby and I were still calm and unstressed (within reason), that we could make an active choice and I guess I got some degree of control over a situation I did not expect to find myself in. I did cry. BabyCakes wiped away my tears and talked to me whilst my OB organised all the necessary people for my surgery.<br />
<br />
Thankfully, there had been another lady in surgery, and we could utilise most of the same staff instead of having to wait for people to get there. I was still contracting and breathing through them the whole time this was going on. After signing the appropriate consent forms the Anesthetist and his assistant were first in to see me, and they came into the labour room where I'd been all day. I was asked if I had allergies and if I wanted to be conscious or unconscious and elected for conscious. The spinal block was administered quickly and easily, and to be honest, I was relieved. The needle inserted into my back concept was pretty scary to someone who had never been to hospital as a patient before this. It was not long before the contractions were no longer an issue for me. What did surprise me was getting the shakes. I was told this was not uncommon and to let them happen and they should pass. I must say, the anesthetist was lovely. he explained everything he was doing, and what I could expect to feel/not feel etc.<br />
<br />
I was wheeled into surgery and placed on the operating table and the anesthetist kept up the explanations and kept me at ease. He asked me if I wanted to be told when things started, and I said that ignorance is fine, to which he replied "Good, because it has already started!" I must say, it's a really odd sensation not not feel pain, but to feel referred movement. The only thing I had to compare it too was having a tooth pulled.<br />
<br />
My OB discovered that our little girl was also in my pelvis with her head tucked back, not chin tucked in - which was another indicator of a long and painful labour.<br />
<br />
By the time they lowered the drape so that we could see our baby girl for the first time, I think I was still in shock. <a href="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/IMG_1957.jpg">A picture not everyone will want to see...</a> I looked at her <a href="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/IMG_1961.jpg">swollen little face</a> in wonder. They re-raised the drape and BabyBear was handed over to the paediatrician and his assistant and BabyCakes was called over to watch and be a part of the weighing and cleaning up of BabyBear. She was 3680g (just shy of 8lb 2oz), head circumference of 34.5cm and 55cms long. She got 9 and 9 on the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apgar_score">APGAR test</a>. It took a while before I asked if she was a girl, because I'd completely forgotten to look! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxuEcFvc4Bav6wBKDgsjqj8utqut35VM_Flm8cdiD96KY56HPQxjtIA3a0IRZYFSQjbO2_iLmFsLqowvk8p00uIrgX-gP_ZlgfPuUJpm3o0ekzNBllqiIbDiDlOzFyJUNzhMr8wg/s1600/IMG_1972.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxuEcFvc4Bav6wBKDgsjqj8utqut35VM_Flm8cdiD96KY56HPQxjtIA3a0IRZYFSQjbO2_iLmFsLqowvk8p00uIrgX-gP_ZlgfPuUJpm3o0ekzNBllqiIbDiDlOzFyJUNzhMr8wg/s320/IMG_1972.JPG" /></a></div><br />
<br />
We got a brief moment to be together for the first time as a family before BabyCakes went with her while they dressed her and took some blood so she could be tested for infection related to my high temp earlier. My OB had a look at my insides (I'd had an unusually swollen ovary at one stage during pregnancy) before stitching me up. I was wheeled out to recovery and was handed BabyBear pretty much straight away and we fumbled through our first breastfeed together. The spinal block wore off surprisingly quickly and as it worked its way out of my system, my arms finally stopped shaking. I was in recovery for half an hour with BabyBear on my chest, lost in the wonder of a newborn. It was during this time that we were told that BabyBear had no infection related to my high temp.<br />
<br />
She caught us by surprise 2 weeks early and was a very reasonable size - any more "cooking" and she would have been a very big girl! Whilst not my planned birth, we are both safe and healthy. Recovery from the surgery has been very straightforward as I took the advice of those around me and kept up my pain medication, only now just starting to contemplate reducing it.Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-87555960963917819172009-02-05T08:43:00.003+10:002009-02-05T09:10:12.411+10:00Love, Fear and Perfection.Now, I admit I have a lot of hormones coursing through my body doing their funky thing, but WOW, BabyCakes and I made a beautiful baby. Now we just have to look after her until she can look after herself. <br /><br />I know that there will be arguments and frustrations, and that at some stage she will loathe us and blame us for everything we did (and we're bound to do lots) that has totally ruined her life, but for right now, she is perfection. A pooing, weeing, burping, farting tiny tiny bundle of perfection. It takes my breath away sometimes, and depending on how much sleep I've had, she can stir so many varied emotions. <br /><br />When I'm tired and generally sleep deprived, the responsibility of being so totally key to her survival inspires huge amounts of fear for the unknown, the possibility of how many ways a child can be hurt and harmed, and how I could despite all my best intentions fail her bubbles over and almost paralyses me.<br /><br />When I've had more sleep, and feel calmer and more secure in myself the sheer awe, love and excitement I feel when I look at her is inspiring. I want to be a better person for her, I want her to have and be the very best I can offer her (and more), and I desperately want to nurture and love her and watch as she grows into her own person and take joy in that journey together.<br /><br />I know most of these feelings will get buried in the mundanity of life, and I'll get caught up in survival over time. At this stage my whole day revolves around her needs because she can't do anything to help herself, but in time she'll grow and will start learning skills, and I'll go back to work, and the bills will keep getting paid and the world will happen around us.<br /><br />This is such a small window of time, and such a magical one. So many firsts for her and us. I know from the outside it is easy to think that a week old baby has't changed much since they were born, but ask a parent and they'll be able to tell you all the milestones that have come and gone in the short space of time, and the milestones ahead to be faced each day. <br /><br />Crazy chemicals, or the meaning of life. I don't care. It's an amazing roller coaster that is my whole life right now, and it is so wonderful.<br /><br /><br /><br />And I don't care if it is really gas, I see a smile and it melts me.Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-77560472323981383732009-02-01T13:59:00.006+10:002009-02-01T14:23:05.988+10:00We Are FamilyWith great joy BabyCakes and I welcomed our daughter into the world on Tuesday evening.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/n627733126_1363485_1994.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r114/CCLarfer/n627733126_1363485_1994.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />My waters broke in the early hours of the morning and induction of labour provided too little progression of labour in 10 hours, so a cesarean section was needed for us to safely meet.<br /><br />She is our joy and seems so perfect. She feeds and sleeps well, and my recovery from surgery has been straightforward.<br /><br />BabyCakes has applied for his shotgun license.Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-70141411739237021572008-12-26T11:05:00.002+10:002008-12-26T11:14:14.059+10:00Fwee Fwee Fwee Fwee FweeThe title is in deference to my nephew MrT... he's 16 months old and "Fwee fwee fwee fwee fwee fwee fwee" is his favourite utterance when he's happy and just generally running amock.<br /><br />It has been great to have family visiting and just being able to hang out and do not too much. I think we have a household of people who generally are feeling the effects of low level sleep deprivation and lack of routine, but we're happy for the most part.<br /><br />I know it is a bit belated, but I would like to wish everyone well for the silly season. For us 2008 has been an exciting year full of change and happiness, but we know that it hasn't be that way for everyone. I hope that 2009 brings you the best and that you thrive in every thing life offers you next year. We're waiting to meet Squiddley Diddley next year, and know that our curve of change will continue to dramatically increase, but hopefully, so will our joy.<br /><br />Love to all.Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36324543.post-76814963775217107002008-11-25T13:03:00.001+10:002008-11-25T13:03:56.188+10:00Happy Birthday BabyCakes!I love you :)Crazy Cat Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133346415617973992noreply@blogger.com1