Still losing weight :) 4.1kgs to date. Some weeks have had smaller losses than others, but so far a steady downward path. It has been heartening.
This week will be telling, I haven't been counting points!
Weigh in is weekly. 1.2kg down.
More importantly, my awareness of portion sizes and the my ability to exercise self control has been re-confirmed. I'm happy with the start.
Now to maintain the programme.
:)
I'm at the edge. The edge of a place I'd rather not be.
Our Wii Fit tells me I'm dangerously close to the "Obese" line, which is interesting given the amount of people willing to tell me "You're not fat". The inanimate software is not afraid to tell me I'm almost obese, it has not rose coloured glasses to soften the blow.
I must say, I tend to agree more with the machine than the well meaning friends. I caught sight of myself in a shop window last week and it horrified me. I looked positively round. It is always confronting when I have one of those "slap in the face" moments. There is a part of my head that thinks I'm at the other end of the "ideal weight" range. It is where I was when I was 23 and I don't feel that much different in my head, mostly. Then I look a bit harder.
I was pretty much a control freak when I was younger. I think I have mellowed a fair bit as I got older. In some ways I like the more relaxed me, I'm not so uptight. The discipline could be better though. It seems like an obvious thing to say, but I think my lack of discipline spilling over into my attitude towards food has had a lot to to with my weight issues. I reactively became a lot more self indulgent when I learned I could be. When my life became less structured, it became *really* less structured.
Unsurprisingly, these changes mirror the time my weight started ballooning. There was also a dalliance with hormonal contraceptive in there too. That's a whole other story though.
So, I think discipline as much as the hand/mouth thing is key to working my way through this to a healthier weight. I have started Weight Watchers and even in few days since I've started things have changed a fair bit. Just the simple fact of knowing I have to write down what I eat makes me more inclined to think about it, let alone the scary prospect of having to assign a point value to it.
The programme itself only has a weekly weigh in so I'll see how that goes on Thursday. I did drag out the Wii Fit today though, and I think I'm in a good spot.
I was talking to a friend about my weight and proposed weight loss and life in general. They very confidently said "I don't doubt you can lose the weight you want, you gave up smoking." A statement that made me think about things completely differently, and much more positively. I was a smoker for pretty much 15 years before I managed to shake it, and I feel quite happy to be an ex-smoker this time round. I have no desire to get close to starting smoking again. The last time I quit was vastly different from any of the times previous - well for a start, I actually did stop and for about 3 years now, which is a pretty big difference really), but other than that, it was surprisingly easy. I didn't really struggle.
I have been overweight for about 10-12 years now, so that's less time, and I feel happy that this time is different. My head is in a different spot, and I really believe I will do this, and be able to make permanent changes to how I eat.
I am ready to walk away from the edge, and never get there again.
This post took about 3 days to write, so I apologise if there are inconsistencies in tense or I repeated too much!
Thank you Jigger for my title today.
Life is busy. The wedding is now just 54 days away, not that I'm specifically counting... "less than 8 weeks" is daunting enough for me, but the software I use does count, and it does come in handy. As expected at the 54 day mark, the wedding has become a very big focus and I spent last week compiling invitations, guest lists, updating addresses and putting together wedding favours. This week turns the immediate focus to table centre pieces and place cards, as well as many other loose ends that need tying and the continual budget wrangling.
I've also started rehearsals for "The Truth", another Pratchett inspired production being performed at the Brisbane Arts Theatre. As advertising materials are made available, I'll share dates and times and the like with everyone. The production is already shaping up to be a funny and rewarding experience, which is always handy when one has to juggle so hard to fit all the rehearsals in. This time round I've declined to Stage Manage, and am instead focusing on Assistant Directing, which is kinda fun, because it very much feels like an "all-care-no-responsibility" kind of role... there is responsibility of course, but not to the same degree a Director or Stage Manager needs. It is more of a fun than daunting role!
I've also been working half a day a fortnight doing a newsletter for BabyCakes' work, which has given us a bit more time together, rather than less, because I head into the showroom and work on a Saturday morning to coincide with when he has to be there to sell. It has been interesting so far, and the extra money is always handy.
With all these tasks and responsibilities, BabyCakes and I have seen each other in rather small bursts of togetherness, but it is all for a purpose so it is manageable. I can say without a shadow of a doubt, the honeymoon will be very nice to have some quality time together, while seeing some amazing sights.
The rain we've had has been welcome, but it is encouraging all the stuff we cut back in the garden to re-grow, so I'll have to find some time to wrestle them back into the shape we want!
BabyCakes and I have continued on the CSIRO Total Wellbeing Diet (albeit with some aberrations on occasion), but even with the blips, I was delighted to step onto the scales yesterday and find that I'd lost about 4.7 kgs in about 2-3 weeks, despite the tape measure not showing much change in that time. Mostly, we are both happy and healthy, and finding it relatively easy to make better choices when we do stray, and being more aware of what we have to do to make up for it. I feel happy about where we are, and where we are going.
I'd best be off now to get my candles out of the oven.....
It may seem slightly odd, but I can't touch type. (That (and this) sentence took me three times as long as it ordinarily would to type, because I am trying to become a reformed hen-pecker.)
I've given up for the moment and reverted to a pretty poor technique in an effort to stop myself going insane with the lack of speed I was typing at.
I found a pretty cool site to help with my new plan of self improvement - well this particular part of it anyway! I also find, that there is a balance between concentrating and over thinking that needs to be found - sometimes I surprise myself with speed and accuracy, and others I get insecure over fingering and slow right down... my brain on some level, does know where the keys are - I just have to learn to start using my pinkies and ring fingers more.
I'd really like to be able to type without looking at the keys...
Today is one of my brothers' birthday. Happy Birthday dude! Have fun on your weekend away.
The house purchase is rolling along nicely, settlement is booked in for 3pm next week and the solicitor and the finance company have confirmed they have everything they need... I guess that just means the seller's side has to be up to speed and we're all happy! Update on that - my solicitor just emailed and gave me the list of funds we need to provide for settlement. Scary! Luckily though, I didn't accept blindly and asked a question that saved us paying an extra $400 to the government! It means there is $400 more in the wedding/honeymoon money - which has GOT to be a good thing!
In other news...
BabyCakes' Mum's health has become a concern again.
My Dad has also been in for more tests - his results are confusing - pretty much routinely abnormal which means more tests and more um-ing and ah-ing by his various doctors as they try and work out what is happening. He's upbeat about it all though.
Life really does keep moving on...
Dad is in hospital again. More unexplained chest pains. Hopefully today's angiogram will help work out why this has happened again. Dad's doing fine, I think we're all more freaked out than he is!
I went and saw Dad last night and had a great meandering chat with him, which was fun. We talk about everything and anything, which is a good way to get a lot of topics covered!
On a completely different note, this little flash movie was brought to my attention. Cuke Skywalker, Darth Tater, Tofu-D2 - comedy gold I tell ya!! It cracked me up, and a giggle is always a nice way to start the day!
I've already sent this one round to a few people, because there was a chance to win a Trans Am! It's cute too, and what I think things would really be like if someone less cooler than The Hoff was Michael Knight!
